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The Squirrel in My Head

Mike Winslow

Not much has changed in the way I feel since Patty snapped this photo March 17. You might remember it was supposed to to be a party – cancelled like everything else.

I thought shit was crazy when they cancelled baseball, hockey, Easter and anything else you can name. Tomorrow Missouri goes under a “Shelter at Home Order”. So far, I haven’t found any published document saying exactly what that means. It’s not clear who determines who or what is “essential”. (They mentioned “elected public officials”, but since when have we ever trusted elected public officials or when did they become experts on pandemics?)

How is this going to be enforced? Roadblocks? Curfews? Could I be shot on site if I’m out in the woods by myself taking photographs? What if I’m walking down an empty street? In my neighborhood?

I don’t deny, we have a problem and I’m very concerned. Just like everybody else, I’ve got parents, friends on chemo, friends and family who are isolated, relatives that are pregnant, children, grand children and family. My age puts me in the high risk group.

But I’m pretty damned concerned about the solution too. And that’s the squirrel in my head.

Speaking of which, I set up a bird feeder outside my window primarily to photograph cardinals. However, there’s a pesky squirrel that manages to get on the feeder. She shovels the seed out, then eats it on the ground. I’ll run out and scare her off, but as soon as I turn my back, she’s back!

The Squirrel in My Head eyeballing the bird feeder (camera left)

My point is, here I am trying to lay low at home and be a good citizen and this squirrel keeps chasing my birds away. I thought about shooting the trouble maker on site for the next offence, but I’m worried about putting a hole in my nice mildewed white vinyl fence. And you thought you had problems.

But seriously, if anyone has an accurate document of this shelter at home order please send me a link. I’d rather not accidentally cross some blurred line. Better yet, post the link in the comment section. Please and thank you.

Here’s a couple snapshots I did manage to get this last week.

Before I close, I’d like to make it clear, my heart is with you. I know the problem is real.

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Maybe you have squirrel in your head. Please feel free to speak your onions in the comment section.

Peace to you and yours.

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